Guy's Fabulous Life
by Klotzilla2
Summary: Inspired by "it's a Wonderful Life" and "Doug's 1st Movie". Guy Graham's just so misunderstood and I LOVE HIM TO BITS 3! Hope everyone enjoys : D!


"Guy's Fabulous Life"

It was February 14th of 1999. Guy Graham, an upperclassman of Beebe Bluff Middle School was clad in a very expensive white tuxedo with a red tie that made him look like a million bucks. His hair was slicked back with gel and a poof to it that he knew all the girls at the dance would fall for. His face had a pink-purple glow to it as usual, but tonight be had tanned a dark purple color so he'd look a bit more presentable. A red satin cloth was tied around his waist that cinched it a bit as he walked through the loud atmosphere with his leather shoes clacking against the floor of the dock. It was the night of the big Beebe Bluff Middle school Valentines dance and he had two primorities, his beau Patti Mayonaise and something else that would completely change his life…he was planning to kill the monster of Lucky Duck Lake. This monster was found by a boy named Douglas Funnie who went to school with Guy and was two years younger, Guy never let him live it down! He knew if he killed this horrendous monster the class and Patti would fall at his feet and he'd be a known hero. The big shot businessman named Bill Bluff was at his side and was in constant contact with him, he'd ask if he had seen the monster and guided him all the way through. He knew he'd make Bill proud when he killed off this awful creature, he'd be as famous as him. He'd have a company named "Graham Co", much like Bluff's called "Bluff Co". Guy eyed the students charmingly as he looked around for Patti. "Geez, she better get here soon or I'm gunna get caught.." he mumbled to himself as he walked through the admiring crowd of students who were smiling and staring at his beauty. He glanced at his watch nervously as he walked around and looked for her. Finally, he saw her standing there, doing nothing. Acting like he wasn't even about to arrive!. He smirked to himself as he walked up behind her and jumped at her. "Hey, looking for someone?" he asked her with a smirk as she jumped in shock and goosebumps spread throughout her tan skin. "Oh, Guy you scraed me!" she giggled in her signature southern accent which was charming but even Guy had to admit it was a little nasal. Patti straightened out her tube dress which had sheer lighter blue sleeves since she was much too modest to be wearing tube dress without sleeves. Patti was a sweet girl, she didn't want attention for wearing a flashy dress, she wanted Guy to se what was underneath which he didn't do very well. Guy strictly judged by appearances, sometimes Patti even doubted he'd like her if she wasn't tan, blonde, and had a big butt. Patti already had a serious weight problem, she was very insecure and used to become quite obsessed. It hurt her to think she wasn't pretty enough. She did like Guy but she didn't love him, she was only dating him because it made him feel good and she couldn't stay no. She truly had eyes for a boy named Doug but she didn't tonight. He had not been completely honest with her lately and she wqas pretty sure he was cheating on her with a new student that was a little meaty and had bright blonde hair named Heromine. This bothered her, she couldn't help but notice how clingy he was with her lately…she wasn't even al that pretty! Patti sighed when she thought about Doug but then put her attention back on a doting Guy. She looked him straight in the eye, "Nobody's dancin'…maybe we should go out and break the ice!" she told him sweetly as he looked across the rather dreary-looking dance floor full of not so enthusiastic students who were drinking punch and talking even if they knew it was a dance! Guy smiled at her, "You took the words right out of my mouth!" he told her excitedly. He then paused when he remembered that Bill would soon be here with his men to kill the monster who was lurking near the dance, if Patti knew she'd surely break up with him and he'd be humiliated if she did in front of all the people, plus he was starting to like her…maybe even love her! The feeling scared Guy, he tried to ignore it since he knew he had a plan for tonight to kill the monster and he wasn;t going to let Patti get in the way of it, Bill was counting on him! He paused, "Only let's wait a couple of minutes…" he said slyly as he glanced at his watch in the corner of his eye and felt sweat drip down his neck and his hands got clammy. Bill better had hurry or he'd have a heart attack from the anxiety. 'C'mon, it's gunna be Christmas, Bill' he thought as he gave Patti a reassuring smile in case she was getting suspicious. Patti was confused why he wanted to wait, couldn't everyone talk for fun anytime they wanted? Why wait? Patti began to grow weary a bit on exactly why he was doing this, "WHY?" she asked him.

Guy began to get flustered and his eyes narrowed, she was so hard to deal with! His fists shook and his face grew angry….he didn't have time for this, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" he screamed at her impulsively. Guy stopped himself before he said anything else, why did he just yell on the girl he may be in love with? He saw the shocked look on Patti's face and it really affected him. There was a sheer moment of silence as Guy's face softened sympathetically. "I mean, let's just wait, over, here, PLEASE?" he begged her as he tried to darg her into the other direction before she figured out anything. Guy felt awful for treating her this way but if he told her what he was doing she'd never forgive naively followed his lead and walked over to the other side of the dance. Patti's eyes grew larger when she saw Doug pass by, she wouldn't give him the time of day after he lied to her that way about the monster and Heromine, "OH, GUY!" he fawned as she touched his arm sweetly and shot Doug a look of apathy. She was still angry at Doug but secretly she still loved him as her friend. She was too proud to admit it though right now, so she'd have to make him jealous with Guy. Guy grinned at her comment and shot a rude look at Doug who looked bitterly at him. 'Jealousy? Anyone?' he thought to himself as he snickered under his breath and walked with Patti on his arm across the dance floor. Things were going perfect for Guy, Patti was falling over him, Bill was coming soon to destry the monster, he was going to be a famous face and loved by all Bluffington, and the monster was secured inside the giant heart in well,…the heart of the dance. Guy grinned in achievement but it then faded when he saw something that would change his night forever. He saw Doug Funnie wheeling out the heart, obviously trying to save the monster from Bill and his guards. Guy's pupils grew larger as he witnessed the scene, "WHAT is he doing?" he exclaimed. Patti said nothing and just looked at him in confusion. 'He sure is actin' real strange tonight…' she thought as he she noticed Guy's distress over Doug wheeling the heart out of the dance. She was confused why he was doing it too, but it was his business and she wasn't saying a word to him after he lied to her that way. Guy calmed himself down as he saw Bill's agents arrive at the scene, they seemed to be on hot pursuit of getting the monster. He heard of them say, "Get these kids out of the way!" and he felt comforted. He remained calm that they'd get Herman before Doug and SKeeter got him but then Doug and Skeeter grabbed Herman and began running off with him. Guy couldn't believe it, how did they know that Herman was getting killed tonight? He didn't even say anything when he wrote that article ahead of time. Something had to be done. Guy kept his eyes on everything happening when suddenly a fake monster popped out and began running all over the dance, "I'm a MONSTER!" it shouted in a robotic voice which alarmed Guy. He realized how fake it truly was, and was obviously a scheme by Doug so Bill wouldn't be able to kill the REAL monster. Guy was smart and knew a real monster from a fake one. It looked so ridiculous with it's yarn hair, metal arms, and bulging eyes that frankly creeped Guy out. He just laughed and pretended to play along with this act, Either way, real or not, people would know he alerted Mr. Bluff and was a true hero. This would be perfect anyways! "MY GOODNESS!" Guy cried loudly enough for the whole dance to hear, "A CRAZED MONSTER, Thank goodness I alerted Mr. Bluff's agents in time to protect the citizens of Bluffington!" he faked as all the students around he and Patti screamed in absolute horror of the 'monster' which was coming out saw one of the agents of Bluff's take off a sheet off the monster and discovered it was in tiny little pieces and was holding something….underwear. Guy wrinkled in nose in horror at how he looked under the sheet, he was just a robot….anything had a better costume than THAT! "Stand back, Patti!" he told her protectively as he jumped in front of her to hide her knowing that it wasn't the real monster. "GUY…" she moaned as he peeked behind him but didn't get a chance to looked because he kept moving to block her view, when she tried to walk over he immediately covered her eyes from the sight of it. "Whoah there, babe, do you REALLY want to look at this awful monster?" he asked her as he covered her eyes. Patti just sighed, "Well, if it's THAT bad…it's nice to know you care about me, Guy…" she told him sweetly with a small smile. "Exactly, babe.." he told her as he clenched his teeth nervously as he watched the agents and monster. "Roger, Roger…SOMEBODY TAKE THIS!" yelped the robot as it held up some of Roger's underwear with his face plastered all over them. "YUCK!" exclaimed Guy as he nearly puked from the tackiness of such underwear…typical Roger. Patti just stood there obliviously to what was going on which Guy couldn't help but snicker over. "Don't worry your pretty little eyes over that mean monster!" Guy told her as he patted her back and continued covering her eyes. Guy grew nervous, he knew Patti was about to find out something, "Hey, Patti, I think this is too much for ya…let's head over here!"" he said as he walked in the other direction while covering her eyes. "Alright, Guy, whatever you say!" she told him as he walked with his guidance over to the other side of the dance, where the monster was no where to be seen."Nice to be alone, huh?" Guy asked, distracted by what was happening on the opposite side of the dance. He saw Doug and Skeeter carrying something that he really hoped was the true monster. "YES!" he whispered to himself. Patti raised an eyebrow, "What was that, Guy?" asked Patti. Guy smoothed out his blazer nerously, "N-nothing, babe" he told her as he watched Bill in the corner of his eye who was appearing to talk to Beebe about something, by the look on his face it wasn't something very good. Guy gulped, Beebe was probably getting him to not kill the monster. That brat!

'This can't be good…now miss I Get Everything I Want is going to stop him! Spoiled brat, I tell ya' he thought as he watched Mayor Tippy approach them, things seemed to be getting even worse on Guy's part. Part of him wanted to go over and see what was going on and part of him wanted to prevent Patti from finding out what was happening, he couldn't do both. Patti would for sure know he was a jerk if she went over and heard what was probably going on. "Look, it's Mayor Tippy!" pointed Patti with interest, Mayor Tippy was the current Mayor and Patti voted for her all the way through the whole election. Willy's father, Bob White was the mayor before but he was principal of the school now and Patti was glad since he didn't care for him as mayor. She felt he didn't help their town, he didn't even bother to clean up the city streets like Tippy did, which was am major problem in Bluffington. Plus, she was friends with the Dinks and they always seemed very friendly amiable whenever she saw their purple faces, they were always smiling. She wished she lived beside them like Doug did, but she didn't even want to think abpout Doug right now "I wanna go see her!" Patti told Guy with a smile as he saw her talking to Mr. Bluff about something she didn't know what it was. Guy maoned in deep frusteration, "AH, who's cares?" I voted for Bob anyways, what's so great about Tippy? I didn't even THINK about voting for her! Her name sounds like the Titantic and what did it do?…SINK! I'm not talkin' about the successful movie either…I'm talkin' about the BOAT! I'm just sayin'…BAD MAYOR! What a lousy mayor…don't go see her!" Guy talked with a very fast tone like he always did when he was uncomfortable as he held Patti back by her arm from seeing Tippy. Patti growled in anger a bit, "GUY! Who my friends are have NOTHING to do with who you voted for. That's MY businesss!" she said as she broke loose from his grip. "I'm just sayin', babe, I heard from Principal White she….steals candy from children, discourages academics, and even worse she STEPS ON THE GRASS WHEN THE SIGN TELLS HER NOT TO…mad woman, I tell ya!" he told Patti who was furious at him. "GUY! You heard it from PRINCIPAL WHITE…that's proof right there it's fake!" she told him, she never really trusted Principal White, he always seemed out to get people to her! "Patti NO!" he told her but stopped when he saw no other but Doug Funnie, Skeeter Valentine, and Beebe Bluff walk up and Doug was carrying something odd in his hands. Guy scoffed and rolled his eyes at the younger boy. He was probabaly here to talk to Patti, 'Go away, Doug, nobody wants you here!' thought Guy and sure enough Doug walked straight over to Patti. "Patti, I've been trying to call you!" he told her as they both stood by the sparkling waters at the shore. Patti sighed when she saw Doug coming ahead, 'What does he want?' she thought as she crossed her arms and tried to look like she was enjoying herself with Guy. She didn't want to talk to Doug but she figure out if she didn't say something he'd never go away and she'd never have time with Guy. Her eye's widened in shock when she feasted her eyes upon Heromine's dress right in Doug's hands. Could it be they were a little more than friends? Doug was too nice and she knew there was a trouble-maker underneath his skin no matter how he tried to hide it! She was disgusted that he'd go to such high levels though, she was so shocked she nearly couldn't speak. She needed the truth though!

Patti swallowed her pride and said, "Look's like you were pretty busy!" she told him coldly with scornful eyes. All Doug could think about was how beautiful she looked in her blue dress, he wished she was his tonight but she wasn't. Only in a paralel world would she ever leave guy and forgive him for his actions, and that would never happen in a million years. Doug sighed hopelessly. Doug just laughed, "THIS?" asked Doug as he held up Hermoine's dress. "Oh, this is what we disguised the monster in!" he told her. Patti moaned loudly at Doug's comment, did he EVER tell the truth? She was sick of his lieing, he'd do anything these days to avoid her knowing the truth. It angered her that her best friend for so long would lie to her about what he did with Heromine. It sickened her! Him lieing and thinking about him with her, she didn't know which one was more awful. "Not THAT again!" Patti yelled as she crossed her arms firmly. She couldn't believe anything Doug said anymore. "But, it's TRUE! See, he was like a friend to us! He was great, I wanted to tell you more than anybody but I couldn't I didn't want to put you in danger or get him into trouble because-" Doug tried his best to tell her before getting cut off by Patti's gasp. Doug was alarmed by it. "PATTI, are you okay, Patti?" he asked her with great concern but was relieved when it was just Herman, the monster of Lucky Duck Lake that was Guy was intent on killing. "HERMAN!" he exclaimed happily, "What are you-" he began to ask his friend before once again getting cut off by Patti's stammering. "MON-MON" stammered Patti as he looked up in horror at the monster, it was blue with scales all over it's body with rounded spikes across his back and big, yellow eyes that seemed quite friendly. The monster smiled at her but she wsa too afraid to go over and get friendly with him. She had never seen anything quite like him before! She felt her head spin at the new experience. "HERMAN!" Doug corrected her about the creature's real name. Patti giggled a little, "Herman…Herman! Well, I guess that must be your name!" she smiled as she patted his snout gently which made him make a happy noise. Guy rolled his eyes, now everybody knew the monster was safe and he wouldn't even get famous for it. Doug ALWAYS had to ruin everything for him, if he had never came to school he'd have Patti, he'd be famous for killing Herman and he'd be loved by all as a hero! That'd be perfect. Guy nearly puked looking at Doug and Patti cheerfully hugging Herman as if they'd known him their whole life. 'Don't those freaks know that monsters can turn on you? Al Sleech totally told me that once' he thought bitterly. To him Herman wasn't even all that cute, he was just a big and scaly mess! Guy sighed loudly and hoped Patti would want to ditch Herman, Doug, and Skeeter but she was still cuddling and coddling him. "Boy, have I got news for you, Patti!" giggled Beebe into Patti's ear. Patti needed to know Guy's true motives and she wouldn't let her best friend continued being manipulated by Guy this way! She knew the whole story about how Guy was working for her dad and she was intent on telling Patti the whole truth! She felt bad just seeing her fall all over him so blissfully and naively, she wondered how she got so oblivious! If it were Skeeter treating her that way she would had definitely figured it out by no time! She DID like Guy, but tonight changed it, and she was going to bust him for what she did to Herman, Doug, SKeeter, and of course Patti!

"Patti, boy, have I got NEWS for you!" she grinned as she put emohasis on the word, 'news'. She glared at Guy in the corner of her eye. Guy began to sweat as she said the word 'news' that way, something was wrong, Beebe MUST be trying to tell Patti what he was doing to her. She couldn't know, he'd have to distract her. She'd hate him if she found out. "News? Uhhh, who cares about that it's soooo….yesterday!" he told her with a nervous smile. Beebe scoffed and got up in his face, "OH YEAH? Coming form someone who works for it, I'd assume you didn't feel that way. Huh, Guy?" she asked him as she looked him square in the eye which made him a little uncomfortable. "Uhhh, well yeah, but it's different when you…write it." he lied. 'Okay, that did NOT make any sense at all, Guy!' he thought to himself as he backed away from Beebe and nearly toppled off the dock. "Oh, it's fine…just forget about it!" she told Guy and gave Patti a small wink and pulled something from her purse and gave it to Patti. "Thank you, Beebs!" he told Beebe sweetly as he looked down at the flowing water of the dock, not paying attention to what Beebe was giving Patti behind his back. "Uh, thanks Beebe…what could this be?" Patti asked with a giggle, thinking it was a friendship letter or a list of things Beebe had purchased in the past few days…like it usually was!"It's something you need to know!" she whispered in Patti's ear and eyes Guy a bit. "Well, let's see!" Patti told her happily as she opened the piece of paaper. What Patti was reading was an article Guy had written about killing the monster which was written BEFORE the dance. Guy had planned ahead of time to kill it since he was so sure that Bill and his men would kill it on time and it would be gone. He had not planned someone finding it since it was stored inside the news room's computer and was private he was pretty sure!

_The article read, Next Week's Weekly Beebe: Bill Bluff a HERO! Night of fun turns into night of terror, when monster rampages through school Valentines dance. The horrible monster was blasted to smithereens thus saving the dance organized by cool upperclassman Guy Graham._

Patti couldn't believe her eyes. Guy was manipulating her all along and was working for Bill Bluff. How could she be so stupid? She should had known this. She paused in shock, was she dreaming? She hoped she was, because she didn't want Guy to be a a boy cruel enough to kill an innocent creature for his own gain. Roger wasn't even that evil! Patti looked at Guy with deep detest. Guy's heart jumped when he realized what exactly Patti was reading, how did she get it? They were probably over now….he braced himself for the goodbye. "WHO GAVE YOU THAT?" he shouted as he shot her an angry look "HMPH, HOW COULD YOU?" she shouted at him angrily as she clutched the article in her hands so tightly that it crumbled and ripped a bit. Patti would never see Guy the same way again, the boy she witnessed as a smart, charming, and hard-working middle-schooler was really a devious, manipulative…monster! Her hands shook with anger as she awaited his response. Guy just rolled his eyes at Patti's disappointment in him, "OH PLEASE!" he shot back at her. "All this fuss over a big, stinky lizard. I MAY throw up, we're OUTTA here, you comin' or WHAT?" he tried his best to say with a forced pleasant tone as he grabbed Patti arm to yank her in the other direction which made Beebe's mouth fall open in pure shock. "GUY!" yelped Patti as she tried to get out of his tight grip. Patti looked over the dock at the water and grabbed Guy by the arm and pushed him into the water. "YOUR outta here!" she shot back as the water splashed all over the dock and she walked away with Beebe over to Skeeter and Doug, not even thinking about apologizing. "AHHHH" yelped Guy as Patti pushed him. His tuxedo was soaking wet, his hair was a mess, and he was pretty sure he was going to get a cold. Guy got himself out of the water on back on the dock when he noticed Patti was gone. It was over for sure now and there was nothing he could do. "Patti?" he said quietly but all he could hear was the call of birds in the background and the rustling of the party on the other side of the dock. "PATTI…I'm sorry, don't leave me I'll change!" he called out pathetictially. It was that moment when he realized he loved Patti, not a mindless fling but he loved her, and he didn't know what to do. He walked across the dock and saw her with Doug from the other side. "Oh no…" he said with sad eyes as he walked back over to the dance and wanted to grab him some punch, getting heartbroken made him thirsty! He adjusted his hair to get it back into it's perfect shape but it wouldn't work. "She broke my heart and…RUINED BY HAIR!" he whined.


End file.
